Human lives revolve around mostly on these attitudes. People want to control each other’s life. The boss wants control over his employees, the wife wants to control her husband and vice a versa, the father wants his children to be in controlled behavior. The principal, teacher and headmaster want students in discipline. However the students, the wife, the husband, employee and children want some more freedom and more control of their own lives. The war starts. Disputes of all kinds leading to murder, suicide, divorce, mental disorders, separations, court cases have become like common cold. They appear more often than common cold. I get common cold once a year but I fight with my wife every day. How beautiful! People love to fight and love to create disputes. India-controlled Kashmir people want “Azadi.” In turn, the government of India wants control of the situations. So many lives are lost all over the world because of disputes. Lines of control turn into lines of rampage, rioting and bombings. Control, rather regulation and discipline are needed for smooth running of a system, for results and progress. However, extreme control amounting to tyranny, military rule, and oppressions leads to revolts, chaos, and curbs the growth of individuals, and in turn of the very nation.
Seeking Approvals is another deciding factor for relationships. An employee is always seeking approval from his boss. The wife is always asking, “How is my sari?, how do I look?, in addition to, how is the ‘sabji’ today?”, even after twenty years of marriage!. Same old questions are repeatedly asked. Everyone wants approval of his or her identity. It is a good attribute in small a dose, however, some people make it as a full time engagement or past time. Then approval seeking amounts to sheer flattery. In such cases, self-esteem is very low or the greed guides them. Giving approval in suitable cases is very good, just like applauding after a good performance of an artist. Especially extreme care is needed in the case of children; there one should be very gracious but not over gracious. It is important for their mental growth.
Desire is a main force for moving the lives of people. No movement is feasible without desires. For the world to move they are needed. It is difficult to imagine a world without desires. Main desire is desire to live and survive as long as possible. Other desires are just to support it. That is why people are afraid of poverty because extreme poverty leads to death. Due to this ‘will to survive’, the people go mad, that is why they cross the limits and start amassing wealth that could last for hundreds of years. Society and nations suffer a lot due to such foolishness. Many more crimes are happening due other desires but the main root is that of desire to live. Ambitions, will to progress, making money, having children, to be famous, to have power and so on are the different names of one basic desire (will). All extremes must be avoided to be happy.
Fire of desire
Its red hot fumes, originating from the valley of ignorance
moving all around, to warm the body of a benign man.
Ignited more intensely by the follies of human actions
entering the human mind, to leave it burnt out.
Creating the sensation in the soul, giving temporary pleasures
gushing hotter and hotter, to engulf the wisdom of the benign man.
From: ‘Poetry of Life’, JIRARA, Trafford Publishing, USA, 2009).